(why) "I" can't "write" "here"

I am just about to finish these 2 gigantic texts. There's one single feeling. I am mesmerized. And, as someone just told me after watching Tarkovsky's Stalker, it will take a while to digest all this.

These are "things" I will carry with me all my life. No doubt. Derrida's "the thing itself is a sign", "Le Dehors est le Dedans", "speech is absent" and Heidegger's everydayness, being-already-there, idle talk (the "they"), falling, throwness, having-been (o SER-SIDO), etc, are the most amazing monuments I have seen in my life..